Friday, April 1, 2011

Left you hanging, did I?





Hello again...

Celine has finally allowed me to post a personal greeting to all my fans. She's jealous, you know? That's why there's been a bit of a break in the retelling of my extraordinary life story, Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures.

But no longer! The sixth chapter, Kidnapped by Time Bandits!, will be released soon. Hopefully, your tension will also be released.

In the meantime, I thought I'd do a slight recap of what all has been happening in the series so far...

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill and Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne… And Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates. With a series title that long, you know it’s gotta be good!


In Chapter One: Captured by Space Pirates! we meet our heroine, the strong-willed, hot-blooded Brandi Whyne. Brandi is a comely lass orphaned at a young age. Now twenty-two and working as a barmaid in hellhole spaceport, Brandi finds her virginity threatened. That is, until a tall, mysterious stranger waltzes into the bar and rescues her. To Brandi’s delight her rescuer turns out to be none other than the wickedly handsome Robin Manhood, wanted space pirate and captain of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip. Brandi decides to join Robin’s crew of sexual deviants and freedom fighters in their quest to provide the galaxy with a endless supply of cheap adult toys and even cheaper laughter.


In Chapter Two: Lashed at the Mast! strong-willed, hot-blooded Brandi Whyne finds herself tied up for a bout of “discipline” with ship’s disciplinarian Zelda. After her experience, Captain Robin Manhood—-along with several other crew members-—are pleasantly surprised at how well Brandi adapts to life aboard the Purple Pulsating Parsnip. Robin then sends Brandi on an undercover mission to ascertain why the dangerously sexy space smuggler Daro is delivering inferior adult toys. But first Brandi has to make Zelda’s leather-wearing ex-lover Zelina jealous. Will silver pasties and crotchless panties really do the trick?


In Chapter Three: Bound for Adventure! Brandi goes undercover but is soon found out by sexy smuggler Daro. She bravely faces death by oversized dildo—until Robin and the gang save the day. After Dr. Kwak’s “rat poison” interrogation, it appears Daro is working for dreaded inter-dimensional bandits. What can they do? Why, Robin takes charge of the situation by announcing its time for a ship wide orgy, of course!


In Chapter Four: Little John’s Very Big Problem Brandi bravely cheers up the giant John Thomas with her own brand of sexual healing. J.T. harbors a crush on Peri, a shy girl who works at Robin’s hideout. After a makeover and a sexy soak in the tub, Brandi, Peri and company enjoy a dinner party that includes plenty of dessert. But will bandits from another dimension spoil their fun?


In Chapter Five: The Search for Brandi’s Crack,
Brandi and the crew go searching for a crack in the time-space continuum. Along the way they experience some rather wild side effects of inter-dimensional travel—including Brandi’s disembodied ass begging to be rogered. Robin is more than happy to oblige as the gravity units go off line, and as an oddly familiar time bandit plans to take Brandi hostage…


And here's what's coming in Chapter Six: Kidnapped by Time Bandits!

In Chapter Six, Kidnapped by Time Bandits, Brandi is sucked into an alternate dimension and forced to do a little sucking on some not-so-nice space pirates—including Robin Limpdick, the evil twin of her own lover Robin Manhood. After a good licking, she meets Captain Jacques Swallows and his right hand man Francois who put her to the test. Can Brandi convince the Time Bandits that the crew of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip can do more than just throw a great orgy?


I'll post some hot excerpts here soon to help jog your... memory... a bit more. Tell your friends to check me out. Two's company, three's a crowd, but four or more is perfect for an orgy! ;-)


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