A very naughty excerpt...

All right already! I got Celine off her fat ass and she's agreed to help me post a very naughty extended excerpt from Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 6--Kidnapped by Time Bandits! which is of course available from eXtasy Books: http://tinyurl.com/brandiwhyne6

Here's a quick summary of the series so far in video form...

The scene begins: Brandi has been chosen to represent the crew of the starship the Pulsating Purple Parsnip in a test deviced by the mysterious time bandit, Captain Jacques Swallows.


“Navigator Brandi Whyne.” The time bandit bowed politely and took my hand. I stood on his right as the silent Francois stood several paces behind, pouting. “I see that your fellow shipmates are very supportive of your efforts on your behalf, Miss Whyne.”

“We’ll support Brandi in any effort to get her clothes off!” shouted Tryor Fuq from the corner. “Won’t we, folks?” The crowd erupted into catcalls and hoots. I blushed and acknowledged their love by blowing them kisses.

“Brandi, Brandi, Brandi!” they cheered.

“Hey—that’s not fair,” said Robin Limpdick, pointing at my drunken cheerleaders. “She’s got a regular fan club here. Where are my supporters?”

“You’re right.” Captain Swallows turned to Bak Azzwards. “You may bring some of your men along to cheer for your champion if you wish.”

“Er…they are here. They are a bit quiet for thome reathon.”

I noticed Bernard, Henry and a few of the others drinking Dr. Kwak’s crazy concoctions and passing out under the tables. The sound of hics, belches and burps greeted the silence for Robin Limpdick.

“A fat lot of good you assholes are,” he grumbled.

Jacques Swallows raised his hands. “The test will now begin.”

Francois quickly and quietly disrobed his master. I was not disappointed in what I saw. The time bandit had a beautiful body, buff and muscular, a hairless chest and a cock length that rivaled Little John’s. My hand fell to my clit, and I began to stroke myself. It throbbed as my vaginal muscles clenched at the thought of that bad boy sliding into my tight passage. I looked to my lover for permission to bed the stranger for the good of our crew. He nodded slightly and smiled.

“Now it your turn,” Swallows said, indicating that both Limpdick and I were to undress. I tore off my silky flowing shirt and kicked off my boots even before my opponent had a chance to remove his shirt.

“So, it’s a three-way?” Limpdick said, laughing. “I can tell you she gives a good blow job, so if you let me give her ass a good pumping you can— ”

The time bandit cut him off mid-sentence. “Brandi gives excellent fellatio, you say? Good. How about you, Limpdick?”

“How about me what?”

“Can you suck my dick as well as Brandi can?”

My challenger paled. “Say what?”

The captain took a step forward. Francois took me by the shoulders and moved me away from the two. “Come now, Mr. Limpdick. If you want to work for us, we have to be able to trust your word and trust your loyalty under all circumstances. Your very life could be at stake. I order you to suck my cock. Now.”

“You got your little friend Francie there to blow you—I don’t work that side of the room. Well, not unless you want to suck me off first.” He whipped out his penis and began to pump it, glancing over to me. “Brandi can tell you how good I taste.”

“That’s not what I ordered, Mr. Limpdick.” Jacques Swallows was not a man to be trifled with I could tell. With a swift nod of the head he indicated for Francois to force Limpdick to comply. The youth was compact but strong and easily got the doppelganger to his knees with his lips open and his head tilted to take the full length of Swallows’ massive cock.

“Ooo!” the collective voice of the crowd cried. Robin Limpdick coughed and sputtered and tried to disengage but both Jacques and Francois kept him on task for several minutes. Finally, the time bandit pushed him away with a dissatisfied grunt.

“I would say we score one for Brandi. There’s no way she could do worse than you just did.”

“Hah—why don’t you force her to do it then?” Limpdick sounded almost hysterical. He crawled over to his captain and cowered like a lost child. “I know why you don’t—cause she’s not going to do it for you either, nancy boy. You’ve already done a deal with Robin Manhood and this is just to humiliate me and the crew of the Longdong.”

“Ith thith all a thet-up?” cried Azzwards. “You two-timed uth, Thwallowth?”

“No, this is a fair test.” Swallows accepted a silken scarf from his companion and wiped his cock dry. “Brandi must demonstrate she can follow orders as well.”

Before he could say it, I was down on my knees in front of him and easing his length down my throat. His gasp of pleasure gave him all the evidence he needed to know that I would followed his commands without questioning. I quickened the stroke of my hand and the flickering of my tongue, searching out his anus with my finger to offer him further stimulation. I felt his whole body shudder as his cum began to rise… He leaned back into his companion’s waiting arms and shot his semen across my face and breasts, begging for me to lick the last of it from his quivering member.

Our onlookers all clapped and sighed. Several began to undress and pleasure themselves or others. I looked for my Robin but couldn’t see him for the milling of bodies and the frantic rearranging of furniture and throw pillows.

“Good…very good,” Swallows said, a relaxed grin spreading across his features. He sat down on a proffered chair and handed me the scarf to wipe the stickiness from my skin. “You follow orders promptly and without questions. The Interdimensional Time Bandits Syndicate would find you to be a most loyal and competent officer, Brandi Whyne.”

“Thank you, Captain Swallows.” I stood and saluted. “Is there anything else you’d like me to do for you, sir?”

“Oh, I sure there is something, but first we must give your opponent a chance to prove himself. It’s only fair.”


Yes, it's only fair that if you want to learn what happens next, you purchase and read... Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 6--Kidnapped by Time Bandits! now available from eXtasy Books: http://tinyurl.com/brandiwhyne6

Brandi Whyne Chapter 6 has arrived at last!

Check out my new book trailer... I hope that it catches you up on the series so far. (What if you can't follow what's happening so far? Well, go out and buy the other five books and read them! Duh!) ;)


Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 6--Kidnapped by Time Bandits! is now available in multiple e-book formats at eXtasy Books at the link below:

Kidnapped by Time Bandits!

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill , Red Dwarf and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex!

In Chapter Six, Kidnapped by Time Bandits, Brandi is sucked into an alternate dimension and forced to do a little sucking on some not-so-nice space pirates—including Robin Limpdick, the evil twin of her own lover Robin Manhood. After a good licking, she meets Captain Jacques Swallows and his right hand man Francois who put her to the test. Can Brandi convince the Time Bandits that the crew of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip can do more than just throw a great orgy?

And for those of you who need a refresher, here's the links to the first five books in order:

Captured by Space Pirates!

Lashed at the Mast!

Bound for Adventure!

Little John's Very Big Problem

The Search for Brandi's Crack

(All of these titles are also available for the Kindle e-reader. Click on the link to the righthand side.)

Now, get out there and tell folks the latest book is now for sale. You can also tell them about the wonderful book trailer... and don't forget to tell them just how wonderful I am, too.

Excerpt to come--pardon my pun. ;)

Coming Soon--May 1st to be exactly!

I'm so excited! The sixth chapter in my ongoing memoirs is to be released on May 1st!

Yes, I'll post an excerpt here shortly. I have to set the whip to Celine's back... She is easily distracted. ;)

This is what is pissing her off today--and rightly too, I may add:

http://celinesdreams.blogspot.com/2011/04/support-judy-mays-support-your-local.html

We shouldn't let them bring us down! Support a writer's right to write whatever the hell they damn well please! (I know I do.) ;)