Free Book--Brandi Whyne 1: Captured by Space Pirates!

I know how much people like free books, so check this one out... Brandi Whyne Chapter 1 is now absolutely FREE!



Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures--Chapter 1: Captured by Space Pirates!

 In Captured by Space Pirates! we meet our heroine, the strong-willed, hot-blooded Brandi Whyne. Brandi is a comely lass orphaned at a young age. Now twenty-two and working as a barmaid in hellhole spaceport, Brandi finds her virginity threatened. That is, until a tall, mysterious stranger waltzes into the bar and rescues her. To Brandi’s delight her rescuer turns out to be none other than the wickedly handsome Robin Manhood, wanted space pirate and captain of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip. Brandi decides to join Robin’s crew of sexual deviants and freedom fighters in their quest to provide the galaxy with an endless supply of cheap adult toys and even cheaper laughter.
 
Here's the link to download it:

http://www.extasybooks.com/captured-by-space-pirates/?search=celine%20chatillon&sub_category=1

Enjoy! (And let me know what you think. Please leave a comment here or better yet, at Amazon or Goodreads. Thank you.)

The Last Three Chapters? (Or could this be the beginning?)

Is this the tenth and final chapter in the saga of Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures? Or could this be the beginning?

  Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 10 -- 
Brandi Strikes Back

 http://www.extasybooks.com/Brandi-Strikes-Back/

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Fanny Hill and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex!

As Chapter 10 opens, Brandi must find a way to disable her android replicas on Old Terra to prevent the interdimensional bandits from invading the universe. But the Pulsating Purple Parsnip is temporarily grounded. What can they do? Hijacking a spaceship and commanding her own crew of androids, Brandi strikes back the only way she knows how, using her wits and sexuality. Will Brandi and Robin survive the battle to discover their own happily ever after?

An excerpt from Brandi Strikes Back (Adults only!) is on my Celine's Dreams blog.

Brandi Strikes Back is available from eXtasy Books, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and wherever fine ebooks are sold.



  Chapter 9: To Lay the Dirty Queen

As Chapter 9 opens, Brandi finds herself at the hands of dirty Queen Broomhilda and a dozen horny ladies-in-waiting. After a bit of fun, she escapes and discovers renegade Prince Juanito has been creating android replicas of King Ricardo’s court. Will these mechanoid sex workers overthrow the monarch, or do they play only a small part in a much grander scheme devised by Robin’s evil ex, Marian? Can Brandi defeat an army of her own android clones?

An excerpt from To Lay the Dirty Queen (Adults only!) is on my Celine's Dreams blog.

To Lay the Dirty Queen is available from eXtasy Books, Amazon, and wherever fine ebooks are sold.

 

Chapter 8: Brandi Courts Disaster

In Chapter 8, the space pirates long to discover what K.R.A.P.P. and the android Marian are up to, but first, Brandi needs to discipline Willie for fibbing about his past. A little demonstration and another great orgy later, the Triple P arrives at Old Terra and comes under attack. Can Brandi and company out-prank a prankster, survive a crash landing, and pull the plug on henpecked King Ricardo’s evil queen before it’s too late?

Read an excerpt from Brandi Courts Disaster at my Celine's Dreams blog. 

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 8--Brandi Courts Disaster  

is available from eXtasy Books, Amazon, and wherever fine ebooks are sold.

You can purchase chapters 1 - 10 at eXtasy Books, Amazon, or wherever fine e-books are sold! Click this link for the best price: Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures

Now available--Chapter 9: To Lay the Dirty Queen

 Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly 
Erotic Adventures:  Chapter 9
--To Lay the Dirty Queen

As Chapter 9 opens, Brandi finds herself at the hands of dirty Queen Broomhilda and a dozen horny ladies-in-waiting. After a bit of fun, she escapes and discovers renegade Prince Juanito has been creating android replicas of King Ricardo’s court. Will these mechanoid sex workers overthrow the monarch, or do they play only a small part in a much grander scheme devised by Robin’s evil ex, Marian? Can Brandi defeat an army of her own android clones?

To Lay the Dirty Queen is available from eXtasy Books, Amazon, All Romance ebooks, and wherever fine ebooks are sold. 

Brandi has infiltrated the dirty queen's bath in this excerpt from Chapter 9 – To Lay the Dirty Queen:

 “Allow me to help you.” My curvy wanton picked up a wash mitt and poured a drop of bath gel onto it, then leaned over the side and began soaping my breasts in slow, circular motions, inwardly spiraling toward my pert nipples. “It’s the least I can do for all the fun you showed us this evening.”

I sighed. “Thanks. You girls don’t have a good time every night?”

She made a sad pout. “Most nights, no. The queen kicks us out of her bedchamber whenever she has company. Our personal quarters are rather small, so we can’t get up to much activity.”

These women weren’t flesh and blood, so why did they even need private quarters? Couldn’t they just all line up in a closet and switch off when they weren’t needed? An odd notion occurred to me. I sensed that my sexy hostesses didn’t realize they were synthetic creations. Did they not know they were androids?

“I’m so sorry to hear you all don’t have much time for fun.” My sympathy was genuine, and my curiosity goaded me to keep questioning her. “What is your name, my dear? Where are you from?”

Her expression instantly lit up. “I’m Chelsie. I’m originally from a small town two hours south of the capital by the bullet train.” She plunged the mink-like mitt between my thighs and gave it a swirl about my clitoris. I jumped up and squealed, then gave her a quick peck on the cheek for her cheekiness. She giggled. “I like you, Brandi.”

“I like you, too, Chelsie. You seem an honest, sensible, young lady.” And one that didn’t seem to know that she wasn’t human. Or was it an act? I was about to question her some more when we were interrupted by my cinnamon-skinned lover who had been observing us from across the way for some time.

“Sensible isn’t the word I’d use to describe Miss Chelsie,” the exotic beauty murmured. She struck a daring pose, hands on slender hips, her naked pelvis thrust forward revealing her shaven pussy, her rosy-brown nipples pointing straight ahead, mesmerizing me.

I took a deep breath to calm my over-stimulated nerves, currently being stimulated nicely by Chelsie’s digits. “Ooo, if she’s not sensible, how would you describe Chelsie, then?”   

“I’d describe Chelsie as curious and ready to shag at a moment’s notice.” Cinnamon strode toward the tub and shook her head. “Oh, no, no, no. You can’t get her cleaned properly that way. Let’s get Brandi into the shower booth. You take one side. I’ll take the other.”

Chelsie giggled. “Oh, yes, please.”

Sometimes I don’t know what gets into me—well, that’s not exactly true. Huge strap-ons and men’s cocks get into me frequently, but sometimes girls just want to have fun…with each other in a shower. 

Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures:  Chapter 9--To Lay the Dirty Queen is available from eXtasy Books and wherever fine ebooks are sold.
 

She's coming--again (and again)!

Heads up, darlings... I've whipped my ghost writer Celine into shape and told her to get back to work on my memoirs. Two more chapters are currently in the works. Tentative release date for the first book is August 15, 2015 from eXtasy Books.

Chapter 8 is entitled Brandi Courts Disaster and takes place on Old Terra in the court of King Ricardo the Party Pooper. That doesn't mean Brandi and the gang of space pirates won't have fun, because we all know that Brandi can have fun no matter what the circumstances (or whoever she has to go to bed with). ;)

Chapter 9 is called To Lay the Dirty Queen and that's sort of what happens...along with a few other things. Brandi will start putting two-and-two together and come up with some great group sex--or at least answers to some of the questions she and Robin Manhood have been searching for throughout their sexually repressed galaxy. Space pirates who distribute adult toys have to deal with so many obstacles!

If you need to catch up with all the sci-fi/fantasy/comedic erotic-romantic action so far, check out chapters 1 - 7 at eXtasy Books. They've been having some very good sales on ebooks lately, so buy now and buy in bulk. You know I appreciate it. ;)

Here's the link to the entire series/serial so far:
http://www.extasybooks.com/brandi-whyne

Until later, be good--or at least be nice to your lovers!
Brandi 
X X X

Happy Talk Like a Space Pirate Day Once More

Hello Darlings! 

I've been quiet lately because my ghost writer Celine has been busy with her "real life". (As if my fictional life isn't just as important? Hmph!) 

Happy Talk Like a Space Pirate Day from a sexy space pirate herself. I may yet get Celine back to writing my memoirs... There's been some good news from our publisher, and I don't want to jinx it, but it could mean Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures may go into print. 

Keep your fingers and pirate hooks crossed that it comes to pass, me mateys! ;)

Until then, I will always be your faithful (and very naughty), 

Brandi

X X X

Kindle ebooks and a $5 store credit--check it out!

Here's a bit of news you may enjoy from my ghostwriter...

Some great news from my publisher, eXtasy Books!

Because of a bad web server and the web site crashing this past week, publisher Tina Haveman has issued the following statement:

"All customers [will be] given 5 dollar credit for the bad experience of the last few days... They don't have to spend 20 dollars to use the credit. It's a gift from us that they can use right away."

Yes, that's right--you can get free ebooks with this credit with no wait. :)

And here's some more great news--Kindle versions of all Devine Destinies/eXtasy Books are available now at the publisher's web sites. Experience great customer service at the best prices in one of the most popular e-formats out there today.

Be sure to consider purchasing one of my books with your $5 credit!

Celine

http://www.celinechatillon.com

My book listings at eXtasy Books:
http://www.extasybooks.com/index.php?route=product%2Fauthor&author_id=930

My book listings at Devine Destinies Books:
http://www.devinedestinies.com/index.php?route=product/author&author_id=902

Will Brandi Ride Again?

Hello again, darlings!

Yes, it's me, Brandi Whyne trying to keep this blog site alive. Even more difficult is getting my ghost writer Celine's attention. The darn woman is just too busy for her own good! She has promised me that she will write the next chapter in my saga soon... That is, after she's written the next chapter in the Kindred vampire series! Sheesh! Of all the nerve!

 Actually, Celine's vampires are quite hot and the latest, Blood Bond, is not too bad a read if I say so myself. Check them out at eXtasy Books. You can even purchase Kindle ebooks direct from the eXtasy online store now. Saves you time and makes more money for those poor slaving authors! A win-win all around, if I don't say so myself...

Well, until we meet again, please continue reading my Incredibly Erotic Adventures and tell all your friends with new Kindles or Nooks or whatever to keep reading them as well.

Love,

Brandi

X X X

P.S. If you're into the tamer, mainstream romance stories, don't miss the MFRW Mainstream Blog Hop February 10 - 13. Lots of great prizes, ebooks, and giveaways to be had. Never say that Brandi isn't a romantic at heart! More info about the blog hop:

http://marketingforromancewriters.org/bloghops.html

Why, of all the nerve!

That's my name and I'm sticking to it!

Why, of all the nerve!Can you believe it?

My ghost writer, Celine, wants to diddle with my memoir's title. She thinks it's "too long" and it's not "helping sales" of my book series. Just who the hell does she think she is!


She's even posted a poll at her blog, and she's asking readers to vote on it and give her feedback. Go to http://celinesdreams.blogspot.com and check it out.


Really, what would the readers know about whether it's a good title or not? Not to put any of y'all down (since I adore you, I really do), but they're  my memoirs so I should have the power to name them, right?

So, please go over to Celine's Dreams blog and vote that you want to keep Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures the same--and leave a comment telling Celine where to get off while you're at it. Thanks, darlings!

I love my interview!

Wow! I love my interview today at Sex Marks the G-Spot!

http://www.sexmarksthegspot.com/2011/11/interview-with-brandi-whyne-from-brandi.html

Do I sound "intelligent" to you? Or just plain sassy? ;)

Celine's got a sense of humor?

Well, I never knew!

You can read what my ghost writer Celine Chatillon says was the impetus behind her helping me craft my epic life story at Sapphire Phelan's blog:

http://sapphirephelanspassioncorner.blogspot.com/2011/06/romancing-on-fiday-guest-blogger-celine.html


And to top it all off--she's giving away a free ebook! (Email her at celinechatillon @ hotmail.com )

Will that woman ever learn that we're going to be GAZILLIONAIRES some day, but you can't do that by giving away free ebooks? Hmmph!!

Brandi Whyne Chapter 6 has arrived at last!

Check out my new book trailer... I hope that it catches you up on the series so far. (What if you can't follow what's happening so far? Well, go out and buy the other five books and read them! Duh!) ;)


Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures: Chapter 6--Kidnapped by Time Bandits! is now available in multiple e-book formats at eXtasy Books at the link below:

Kidnapped by Time Bandits!

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill , Red Dwarf and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex!

In Chapter Six, Kidnapped by Time Bandits, Brandi is sucked into an alternate dimension and forced to do a little sucking on some not-so-nice space pirates—including Robin Limpdick, the evil twin of her own lover Robin Manhood. After a good licking, she meets Captain Jacques Swallows and his right hand man Francois who put her to the test. Can Brandi convince the Time Bandits that the crew of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip can do more than just throw a great orgy?

And for those of you who need a refresher, here's the links to the first five books in order:

Captured by Space Pirates!

Lashed at the Mast!

Bound for Adventure!

Little John's Very Big Problem

The Search for Brandi's Crack

(All of these titles are also available for the Kindle e-reader. Click on the link to the righthand side.)

Now, get out there and tell folks the latest book is now for sale. You can also tell them about the wonderful book trailer... and don't forget to tell them just how wonderful I am, too.

Excerpt to come--pardon my pun. ;)

Left you hanging, did I?

Hello again...

Celine has finally allowed me to post a personal greeting to all my fans. She's jealous, you know? That's why there's been a bit of a break in the retelling of my extraordinary life story, Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures.

But no longer! The sixth chapter, Kidnapped by Time Bandits!, will be released soon. Hopefully, your tension will also be released.

In the meantime, I thought I'd do a slight recap of what all has been happening in the series so far...

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill and Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne… And Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates. With a series title that long, you know it’s gotta be good!

In Chapter One: Captured by Space Pirates! we meet our heroine, the strong-willed, hot-blooded Brandi Whyne. Brandi is a comely lass orphaned at a young age. Now twenty-two and working as a barmaid in hellhole spaceport, Brandi finds her virginity threatened. That is, until a tall, mysterious stranger waltzes into the bar and rescues her. To Brandi’s delight her rescuer turns out to be none other than the wickedly handsome Robin Manhood, wanted space pirate and captain of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip. Brandi decides to join Robin’s crew of sexual deviants and freedom fighters in their quest to provide the galaxy with a endless supply of cheap adult toys and even cheaper laughter.

In Chapter Two: Lashed at the Mast! strong-willed, hot-blooded Brandi Whyne finds herself tied up for a bout of “discipline” with ship’s disciplinarian Zelda. After her experience, Captain Robin Manhood—-along with several other crew members-—are pleasantly surprised at how well Brandi adapts to life aboard the Purple Pulsating Parsnip. Robin then sends Brandi on an undercover mission to ascertain why the dangerously sexy space smuggler Daro is delivering inferior adult toys. But first Brandi has to make Zelda’s leather-wearing ex-lover Zelina jealous. Will silver pasties and crotchless panties really do the trick?

In Chapter Three: Bound for Adventure! Brandi goes undercover but is soon found out by sexy smuggler Daro. She bravely faces death by oversized dildo—until Robin and the gang save the day. After Dr. Kwak’s “rat poison” interrogation, it appears Daro is working for dreaded inter-dimensional bandits. What can they do? Why, Robin takes charge of the situation by announcing its time for a ship wide orgy, of course!

In Chapter Four: Little John’s Very Big Problem Brandi bravely cheers up the giant John Thomas with her own brand of sexual healing. J.T. harbors a crush on Peri, a shy girl who works at Robin’s hideout. After a makeover and a sexy soak in the tub, Brandi, Peri and company enjoy a dinner party that includes plenty of dessert. But will bandits from another dimension spoil their fun?

In Chapter Five: The Search for Brandi’s Crack,
Brandi and the crew go searching for a crack in the time-space continuum. Along the way they experience some rather wild side effects of inter-dimensional travel—including Brandi’s disembodied ass begging to be rogered. Robin is more than happy to oblige as the gravity units go off line, and as an oddly familiar time bandit plans to take Brandi hostage…

And here's what's coming in Chapter Six: Kidnapped by Time Bandits!

In Chapter Six, Kidnapped by Time Bandits, Brandi is sucked into an alternate dimension and forced to do a little sucking on some not-so-nice space pirates—including Robin Limpdick, the evil twin of her own lover Robin Manhood. After a good licking, she meets Captain Jacques Swallows and his right hand man Francois who put her to the test. Can Brandi convince the Time Bandits that the crew of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip can do more than just throw a great orgy?

I'll post some hot excerpts here soon to help jog your... memory... a bit more. Tell your friends to check me out. Two's company, three's a crowd, but four or more is perfect for an orgy! ;-)